


the intimacy of tea

by actualcactus



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, and also maybe inspire me to finish it ive been working on it since may, bcus platonic prinxiety rights <3, patton + virge are mostly going to be in the background, virgil will show up a little more than patt tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualcactus/pseuds/actualcactus
Summary: Roman realized in that moment that Logan was holding two mugs instead of one, extending one down towards him. He should have rejected it, told him to fuck off and go to sleep or something. Instead he took it and Logan sat down beside him and made his life ten times more confusing.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

It was quiet in the mindscape. 

Quiet and still, as Thomas slept and the rest of the world around them similarly winded down as the night crept closer to the morning. The mindscape reflected it, deep blue tones taking over the furniture in a direct response to Thomas' unconscious state. Roman sat in the middle of the common area.

His red sweater contrasted starkly against the rest of the room as he sat on the floor, papers spread around him and a few notebooks stacked in a pile nearby, one open in front of him as he scribbled relentlessly before inevitably tearing out the paper or flipping the page and then starting all over. 

Deep into the night as the stars sparkled overhead was Roman's favorite brainstorming time, with an exception perhaps for long showers or road trips. And, usually, this action happened in his room; with his curtains drawn open and window pushed up just enough to listen to the imaginary crickets outside, sitting on his huge bed or at his magnificent desk with his previous achievements displayed around him in encouragement. 

Tonight, though, something about all that splendor was just too much. So he retreated to the open and empty common area. 

Roman dropped his pen and sighed softly, not to disturb the gentle quiet of the common area. He ran a hand through his hair, ripped out the page he had been scribbling on and crumpled it up before tossing it in the general direction he knew the trash can to be - just past the table. 

And he fell backwards. 

His back hit the softly carpeted ground and he stared up at the ceiling, the only light in the room coming from the sparkling stars above and the glow from the oven display. Roman folded his hands on top of his chest and took a deep breath, listening to the chatter in his head as he seemed to have one too many ideas and not enough time. Not enough time. He should get back-

"Roman?"

Roman shot up sharply in surprise, twisting to look over at the familiar voice as Logan stood in the entrance to the hallway. He had one hand up at the light switch, like he had gone to turn it on before realizing he wasn't alone, and the other was holding a mug. He was looking at Roman curiously, out of his usual attire and instead in his nightclothes.

"Logan?"

"Roman."

Roman smiled a little. "Isn't it, like, 1 in the morning? What are you doing up?" 

Logan smirked back, then raised the mug. He let his hand fall from the light. "I was just coming to get more tea, but I could ask the same of you. Also it's closer to midnight than 1." 

"Brainstorming." He gestured towards the paper scattered on the floor, and Logan seemed to take notice of it. Roman watched as his eyes seemed to follow the trail towards the trash can, an amused look on his face.

"Oh, then by all means don't let me disturb you." He said and moved toward the kitchen, Roman taking that as his cue to turn back around towards his work. 

As the faucet turned on in the background he picked his pen back up and swapped notebooks, bending over and starting to write again. His mouth twisted into a concentrated frown as he stopped, scribbled something out, then kept going. Flipped the pages a few times to escape it, then started fresh. Roman dimly noted the sound of the teapot squealing as it finished heating the water and briefly glanced over his shoulder towards the kitchen, where Logan had his back to him and was reaching up into one of the cupboards. He continued watching him for a moment, before turning back around and flipping to a new page.

"Why don't you finish one page before turning to another?"

Roman jumped again, looking up to where Logan was standing behind him. "Jesus Christ specs, this is the second time you've tried to scare me out of my skin tonight!"

Logan chuckled, "well it's not my fault you didn't hear me coming. Tea?" 

Roman realized in that moment that Logan was holding two mugs of tea instead of one, extending one down towards him. He rolled his eyes as he dropped his pen and accepted the mug. "I bet you scared me on purpose." He said, bringing the mug to his lips smugly.

Logan raised his eyebrows and lowered himself to the ground to sit next to Roman, "And why would I do that, if you would care to explain?"

Roman shrugged his shoulders, "well, _ I _ don't know what goes on in that nerd brain of yours. I'm sure you had some reason."

Logan looked amused as he took a sip of his tea, "I'm not quite sure what it means that you can't comprehend a reason why I would want to scare you, Roman, but I'll let you think you've won this time." He paused. "You never did answer my question."

"Huh?"

"I asked why you didn't complete one thing before moving onto the next." Logan said, gesturing at the piles of papers and notebooks spread around them. "It can't be efficient." 

Roman looked towards the paper spread around him, "You just wouldn't understand how my creative thinking process works."

"Probably not," Logan agreed from beside him, and Roman looked back over and saw him reaching for one of the crumpled up balls of paper. Roman frowned a little, but didn't stop him. "But that doesn't mean I can't try to understand."

Roman blinked in surprise and brought one hand up to rub at his neck as he looked away, "Well," he started, then paused again and looked over towards Logan. He had uncrumpled the paper and was reading over it with a thoughtful expression, his tea set between them on the floor. "I just write what comes to mind. And when I don't like the way it's going I discard it, and when I have a new idea I start a new page. I'm fishing for the  _ best _ idea, because there's no settling for any less. There's always one I eventually get that's like a golden light in the face of all these dead bulbs. And I  _ will _ know when an idea is the best." 

Logan hummed in acknowledgement and they sat in the quiet for a little while longer, before Logan set the paper he was reading on the floor and smoothed it out carefully. "Why not expand on something even if at first it's not good? I think you often judge yourself quite harshly Roman, because I think this one's quite good. I'm sure the other ones are too." 

"I  _ have _ to judge myself harshly, Logan. How else will we get to the grand idea?" Roman said as took the paper from the floor and skimmed over it, before letting it float to the floor again with a shrug. "And, well, I just don't see the point. It's like… sifting for gold! Sure, it might take awhile to find that shiny, golden piece in all of the other rocks but it's worth far more than the sort of shiny stones you find in the process."

Logan reached for the paper again as it dropped in front of Roman, "well, I'm of course no expert in the creative thinking process, but I think perhaps some of these could be pieces of gold."

"Fool's gold, at best."

"Pyrite is common, brittle, and worth virtually nothing. I don't think your ideas are the same."

Roman looked up at Logan again and, briefly, they made eye contact before Roman looked back down at the paper in his hands, his face heating up. "Well, uh, alright. But I still don't see the point in expanding on it." 

"Well, pieces of it are obviously flawed." Logan said, moving his mug of tea to his other side then shifting closer to Roman so he could more easily see the paper too. Logan pointed at one of the chunks of scribbly text. "This, while sounds good in concept, is almost completely unattainable." 

Roman leaned further towards Logan and frowned, reading through it. Their shoulders brushed for a moment, before Roman sat back up. "Alright, so you're saying my idea you think could be great is bad?"

"That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying this part is a little out of our reach, at the moment at least." Logan corrected, then gestured to the part up top. "I think this is quite funny and it feels very complete for an idea that is meant to be presented in under a minute. It's only this that perhaps we need to rework." 

Roman took the paper away from him again and read through it once more, before putting it down on top of his notebook and setting his mug to his other side. He picked up his pen. "So,  _ that  _ part is unachievable?" 

"Yes, unless you can somehow find a lot more money than we'd be able to invest into one video - one 60 second video, at that."

"Alright." Roman bent over and crossed it out, and he heard Logan mumble something about hurting his back but he chose to ignore him in favor of starting a new paragraph further down on the page. After a minute or two, he smoothed out the paper one more time and held it out to Logan who was looking down at him with his mug cupped between his hands. "What about now?"

Logan took the paper again and Roman waited in tentative silence, before Logan hummed in approval. "Yes, this is much more manageable. I think this is much better."

Roman took the paper back from him and read over it again, before sighing and dropping it. "I don't know, it's still not great."

"I think it's just fine."

"Yeah,  _ just fine _ . It's nothing special." 

"Everything we put out doesn't have to be absolutely spectacular, Roman. Sure, it'd be wonderful if we could but that's just not a realistic expectation." Logan paused. "Plus, that's not what I meant by 'just fine'. I think it's  _ good _ ."

"I guess."

Quiet fell over the common area again as they lapsed into silence, save the gentle humming of the fridge nearby. Roman chewed on his lip as he started flipping through the pages, trying to look at it the same way Logan did, before giving up and falling onto his back again. 

Beside him Logan chuckled, Roman turning his head to look at him. They made eye contact as Logan looked back down towards him.

"Admiring the view?" Roman asked him, lips curling up in a smile again as Logan rolled his eyes. 

"You mean the stars? Very much so." Logan replied, and Roman watched as he carefully set his mug down then leaned back onto his elbows, turning his head to the ceiling. "Did you know these stars are a perfect replica of part of the real night sky?" 

Roman looked away from Logan, distracted by the way the starlight reflected in his glasses, and looked up. "I didn't because I'm not a nerd, nerd."

Logan tapped on his shoulder and pointed up towards one side of the ceiling, closer towards the couch. "Over there is Ursa Major, and over there," He shifted where he was pointing, a little up and to the right, "is Ursa Minor. More commonly known as the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, respectively."

Roman followed his finger and managed to connect the dots, literally. "Oh, yeah, I never noticed that before." 

"Do you know what they symbolize?"

Roman scoffed, " _ ladles _ ?"

That got a chuckle out of Logan, but he shook his head no. "No, they're supposed to be two bears. Ursa Major - or the Big Dipper - is called the Great Bear, and Ursa Minor is the Lesser Bear.  _ Ursa _ is Latin for bear."

"Wow."

"Wow?"

"Whoever named them did  _ not _ know what bears look like." 

Logan laughed and looked down at him with a smile, "the mythology behind it likely dates back to prehistory, so we can't be sure if they knew what bears looked like or not. And there are other stars in the constellation that make it look more similarly to a bear, the brightest ones just form the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper."

"I can be sure, and the answer is that they didn't." 

He rolled his eyes and Roman grinned up at him, before Logan looked back up at the ceiling. "They're not the only constellations that we can see here, just the ones I thought you'd know." 

"Are you implying I don't know my space lore?"

"Considering the fact that you didn't know there was other stars in Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, I am implying that." 

Roman rolled his eyes, watching as Logan smiled and looked back down over at him. "Hey, specs?"

"Yes Roman?"

"You never said why you were up so late? You don't strike me as the night owl kind of guy."

"I'm not, I just couldn't sleep." Logan said simply, picking his mug back up and taking another sip. "This tea is helping, though, so perhaps I will go try again."

"Ah, alright."  Roman decided to ignore the way something in his chest deflated.

"I didn't expect anyone to be out here, though. Do you usually brainstorm? And this late at night? That can't be a reliable sleep schedule, Roman."

Roman laughed, "Most of the time I'm in my room, but yes."

"I see. Well, I hope you get some rest soon Roman. You of all people must know Thomas wants to film in the morning." Roman nodded and watched as Logan sat up and then stood, brushing his pants off. He looked back down at Roman. "Have a good night, Roman."

"Night." Logan turned and started walking down the hallway, leaving Roman to sit back up and watch him go. "Hey, Logan?"

He turned. 

"Uh, thanks, by the way. For helping me out."

Logan smiled. "Of course Roman. I might not be a great brainstorm-er, but I'm glad I could be of some assistance.

"Yeah. I think I'll show Thomas that one tomorrow."

Logan's smile grew a little, and if Roman didn't know Logan he'd say maybe a little fonder. "Good night Roman, sleep well. Try not to stay up too much later."

"Good night Logan. You too."

At that Logan turned again and headed down the hall, and for a moment Roman watched as a beam of light appeared at the end of the hallway before sliding shut with the door closing, leaving just a soft glow to highlight the hallway as it shined underneath his door.

Roman turned away and picked up the paper again, smoothing out some of the edges and reading it over. With a soft sigh he folded it in half and tucked it into the pages of his notebook, before shutting the cover and looking up at the ceiling again. 

Roman dug around in his brain for any constellation knowledge, to prove Logan wrong that he  _ did _ know about space, before falling backwards to lay on the ground again with a groan. He covered his face with his hands. _ This is stupid, space is nerdy Logan’s thing.  _ And yet, despite it being Logan’s thing, he couldn’t push it out of his mind. The memory of a reflection of starlight reflected in glasses that made his chest feel funny seemed to be haunting his memories as he took his hands off his face, turning his head to look over towards where Logan had pointed out the constellations earlier. He had said something about other stars forming the bears, but what was the point if they weren't obvious?

He groaned in frustration and pushed himself to sit back up, turning his head to look over his shoulder. The light underneath Logan’s door had gone out.  _ God, Roman, you’re such a creep.  _

Roman rubbed at his face with his hand and turned away again, gathering up his supplies and heading to his room. 

He awkwardly twisted the handle to his door and pushed it open, not bothering to turn the lights on as he shut the door behind him with his foot. Putting his things down on his desk with a  _ thump  _ and the clatter of his pen, Roman went over to his bed and collapsed into it. Why had he even bothered to go out to the common room? As soon as Logan showed up his productivity plummeted! They spent several minutes stargazing and trying to improve an idea that… was pretty good, but not great! And now he was going to bed earlier than he usually would! Why? Because Logan asked him to?

Roman sighed heavily out his nose and flipped around in bed, reaching over for his blankets and pulling them up to his chest. This was ridiculous, all of it was ridiculous. Creativity didn't need logic. He didn't  _ like _ Logan.

Roman shut his eyes and tried to shut out the memory of Logan's smile. 


	2. Chapter 2

Roman had his feet kicked up on his desk. A few days had passed since _the night_ , as he's taken to calling the annoying, irritating, not-pleasant memory of Logan stumbling upon him in the common area and joining him to try and help brainstorm. But despite his best efforts to forget about it he just… couldn't. 

He tried to brush it off as due to the fact that when he presented his and Logan's modified idea the next day Thomas had taken to it happily. That perhaps there was a reason Logan used to go by just 'teach', and why he insisted on trying to knock information into them at any chance he could get, because his advice seemed to have worked. Not that he needed it. And it _wasn't_ because afterwards when Roman got frustrated and Logan started talking about his _stupid_ constellations that Logan looked so calm and so happy and it _wasn't_ because of the way he smiled at him. That was _stupid_.

Roman remembered the way Logan smiled when Thomas mentioned his (their) idea to the rest of the sides, and it was smug and proud (of his own contributions, no doubt) but also… something else. Something Roman couldn't put his finger on. Roman decided to ignore it and just think about how Logan wanted to take _his_ credit for the idea, despite the fact that Logan hasn't said a peep about his input even as they've moved into calling friends to ask for their availability to shoot the video.

It was all too weird. Too frustrating. Too annoying.

Stupid Logan.

Roman leaned his head back and looked at the clock he had on the corner of his desk. It was nearing midnight. 

_I've been unproductive all night. I need to focus._

He pulled his feet down from the desk and pulled his chair in further, looking at all of his papers and pencils. But it still felt like he was bashing his head into a brick wall, a creativity block if you will. A brick wall creativity block. 

After fruitlessly scribbling for another ten minutes, Roman groaned and let his head _thunk_ against the desk. Usually, he would move spaces if he was suffering creativity _this_ bad but the only place he could go at 5 minutes past midnight was the common area. Roman did _not_ want to go to the common area, lest there be a repeat of _the night's_ circumstances. Then he had an idea, perhaps his first good one. 

Roman stood up from his chair and adjusted his shirt, before heading over to his door. Logan had that tea in the cupboard, the kind he gave him _the night_ . He remembered it was soothing and helped him think clearer which Roman didn't think tea could _do_ but he would drink it again if it boosted his creativity. That would mean he'd have to go out to the common area, but it was perhaps a risk he'd have to take. He shouldn't be out there for very long, anyways.

Opening his door as quietly as he could he peered down the hall towards the other sides' bedrooms. All the lights were off. Sighing in relief he closed his door with a soft _click_ and padded down the hallway, eyes adjusting to the darkness as he turned into the common area and towards the kitchen.

Roman rarely cooked, usually leaving that responsibility to Patton - not that they _had_ to eat as figments of Thomas' imagination, but it was still nice - and so when he got there it took a little opening and closing of the cabinets to find where the tea was kept. And, surely enough, there were a few boxes stashed behind the coffee. Roman frowned. He hadn't expected to have this predicament. Pulling them out he read the boxes. _Earl grey. Peppermint. Sleepytime tea…_ aha! Logan said he was making tea to help him sleep, so it was only logical - no, reasonable - that he would have made Sleepytime Tea. He smiled to himself a little as he put the other two boxes back. Look who's the smart one now, Logan.

Grabbing a mug he filled it with water, vaguely remembering Logan using a tea kettle but instead opting to just put it in the microwave. Did you put the tea bag in before or after? Probably after, he decided, turning the microwave on.

And with that Roman leaned against the counter, listening to the soft whirring of the microwave. Watching so it wouldn't beep before he could open it and then plopping the tea bag in as soon as the (very hot) mug was pulled out, the water slowly turning brown. 

Roman took a sip. Yeah, this tasted right. One point for Roman: guessed the tea flavor correctly.

Closing the cabinet, Roman headed back to the hallway and down towards his room, ignoring the way his chest deflated with disappointment as his room remained to be the only one with light pooling underneath the door and out into the hallway. He had no reason to be disappointed, he thought to himself, once again opening his door and going inside. 

He found that the tea didn't boost his creativity, or make him feel better, and instead he just felt tired. Bullshit.

And he ended up going to sleep, being woken up in the morning by Patton. Roman shuffled out to the dining room part of the common area, as Patton announced through his door that breakfast would be done soon, the other three sides already present. He sat down heavily in his chair.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Virgil quipped, not looking up from his phone. Roman hummed in approval which got a snort out of Virgil, before they fell out of conversation and instead favored sitting in comfortable silence.

"Did anyone take one of my tea bags last night?"

Roman looked up drowsily as Logan stood by the counter, cabinet open and he was peering inside. 

"Well, I haven't! You know I don't believe in that stuff!" 

Logan glanced over at Patton with an irritated but defeated look as he stood happily by the stove, making breakfast. He then looked over at Roman and Virgil. "Well?"

"Nope." Virgil said, popping the ‘p’. "I don't drink that shit."

Logan leveled his gaze on Virgil for a moment, before making eye contact with Roman. 

"What?"

"Did you even hear me? I asked if someone used one of my tea bags."

Roman blinked at him. Why would he…. wait. Roman scoffed then looked away, hoping Logan couldn't sniff out guilt. "Of course not. When have I ever drank tea?"

Roman could practically hear Logan give him a disbelieving look, but he didn't say anything else. Quiet fell across the kitchen sans Patton's humming and the sound of cooking. Roman looked back over toward Logan who had turned to face the counter. 

It wasn't very long before Patton announced breakfast was ready and brought it over to the table, Virgil pocketing his phone and going to serve himself. Patton sat down and, a moment later, Logan pulled out his chair - mug in hand - and sat too. He made eye contact with Roman.

"Well, you only had to ask." 

Patton looked over at Logan, confused and asking him to clarify. Roman just felt his face heat up and he ducked his head. God damn it, Logan. Why did he have to be so damn cheeky? 

Roman looked up only to serve himself and caught Virgil giving him a strange look, but he ignored it in favor of eating quickly so he could excuse himself as fast as possible from this situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent worked on this at all since i posted the first chptr but i figured id post the already written second chapter for the ppl <3  
> the next one might not come for awhile because im busy with preparing a new dnd campaign, but as always hmu @princies!

**Author's Note:**

> find me @princies on tumblr! i draw and love answering asks over there
> 
> if u enjoyed make sure to leave some kudos and maybe a comment if ur feeling especially generous


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